My Top Seven Things That Help Someone Who Is Grieving
1. Just give them a hug and cry with them. They won’t remember your words, but they will remember your tears.
2. Let them know you are praying for them via card or e-mail – and then pray for them often.
3. Send them a card throughout the first year, not just once.
4. Call them throughout the first year, and just leave them a message letting them know you care. Tell them they don’t need to worry about calling you back. Most people don’t have the energy to even pick up a phone.
5. Be willing to listen when they want to talk about their loved ones. Most do want to talk about them.
6. Make a note of the date they lost their loved one, and send them a card on that date for a few years or more. It will mean a lot that you haven’t forgotten their loved one existed.
7. Accept the “new them.” They will never be the same person that they were.
My Top Seven Things Not To Do or Say To Someone Grieving
1. Don’t ever tell someone when their grief should be over. This is very offensive to someone grieving. Everyone is different.
2. Don’t preach them a sermon. It is not the time. They will just tune you out.
3. Don’t tell them to call you if they need anything. They don’t even have the energy to pick up a phone. Figure out something that would be a help to them and do it. Don’t bring food. They usually get more than enough food.
4. Don’t tell them you know just how they feel. (You Don’t) Don’t compare your loss of your dog or second cousin twice removed with their loss.
5. Don’t tell them to be the way they used to be, lighten up, and have fun. They can’t!
6. Don’t push them into going to a party. Other’s laughter will most likely make them upset. They are hurting, and others seem to ignore their pain.
7. Don’t tell them to just cheer up! They just can’t!
